The Mommy Show

Wizarding World of Harry Potter sites

2010-11-15T13:47:00.001-08:00

I'm posting this for myself and to share with my mom. If you're planning to go to Universal Islands of Adventure to see the Wizarding World of Harry Potter for yourself, I recommend that you DO NOT VISIT THESE LINKS. You don't want to spoil the surprise!

Watching these videos, I realized just how much I MISSED in the Wizarding World. Diggity dang.

Spoiler-filled link with video: http://www.insidethemagic.net/2010/06/spoiler-filled-review-harry-potter-and-the-forbidden-journey-ride-at-universal-orlandos-wizarding-world/

Tips when visiting: http://www.suite101.com/content/wizarding-world-of-harry-potter-is-hot-summer-vacation-experience-a248236

Inside Ollivander's Wand Shop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBaIbCMXwwk

Moaning Myrtle haunts the restrooms: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJyKvR0dZ0s&feature=channel

Tour of Hogsmeade Village shops: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7f-ktkWRpY&feature=channel

Excellent article. 'The way we grieve now'

2010-09-14T21:01:00.001-07:00

I just read an excellent article on grieving via Yahoo's Shine section. The examples it uses are celebrities, but there stories are no less touching than those of the average Jane's. Definitely worth a read.

It's been more than 11 years since my grandfather died, and I still feel the heart-stinging grief occasionally. I miss him greatly and wish he'd had the chance to meet my husband and especially our daughter. He would have been over the moon about her. It amazes me that the two people in my life who mean so much to me--my husband and daughter--never knew my Grandpa. He played such an important role in my life growing up; it just doesn't make sense on that inside level of me.

Wishing you love and joy,
Minda

'The way we grieve now' http://www.shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/the-way-we-grieve-now-2389801/

A site all about soap? Soap.com is so much more

2010-09-09T08:25:00.001-07:00

Yes, it's been nearly three years since I've posted here ... really? No! Hmm, maybe.

The Peanut is going to be four in a couple weeks, so, yeah.

Anyway, I'm back thanks to Postling.com for making updating my various blogs, Twitter and Facebook so very, very easy.

When I find cool sites that are helpful to parents, I'll post them here and let you know why they are worth your time. Feel free to send me your suggestions!

Soap.com

What it isn't: A site about soap operas.

What it is: A site with household products everyone needs, especially those who have a hard time getting to the grocery store on a regular basis. My friend at work who has three boys ages 3 and under, works full time and just started taking MBA classes comes to mind.

I discovered this site through MyPoints.com (which I will talk about in a different post). The site started out in 2005 as Diapers.com, a site to make the lives of parents easier. This summer (of 2010) the owners decided to expand it and rename it ... and now it carries 25,000 different products!

They don't just sell soap products (detergent, shampoo, hand soap, body soap, etc.). They also sell diapers, all sorts of baby goods (from breast pumps to car seats and everything in between), OTC medications, toilet paper, deodorant and antiperspirant, cleaning products, home fragrance, stying products, hair tools, feminine care, face scrubs, makeup, fragrances, vitamins, natural care, and more.

Deals: FREE 2 day shipping on ALL orders of $25 or more. Visit the Savings Center to get weekly deals. E-coupons give you a chance to save money and get competitive deals.

Features: As with all sites I love, this one offers customer reviews. It also shows you items other customers interested in items also purchased or where interested in. they has a "Suggest a Product" link at the bottom of each page.

Fancy stuff: Diapers.com is a Top 100 Inc. company, with a 3,473.8% growth rate between 2005 ($2.5 million revenue) and 2008 ($89.4 million!). They know they stuff and their audience.

Real stuff: While I haven't used this site yet, I will definitely keep it in mind for the future. I'd love to hear what you think about it. Have you used it yet? What was your experience?

My baby is almost 15 months old

2007-12-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

Bella will be 15 months old this weekend. Unbelievable. She is currently climbing on my leg as she "runs away" from Daddy, who is playing with her near me on the floor.

I had the day off from work today, and the Peanut and I ran errands and shopped all day. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, and she shared my scrambled eggs (fed pieces to herself!), grits and maple syrup (yes, I'm a Yankee, I know it) and biscuits and jam. I was also able to sneak a container of her blueberry and pear baby food into the mix. She's getting more picky now. She's also got the word "no" in her vocabulary now and uses it a lot during meal times. Do you want a bottle? "No." (It sounds a lot like "D'oh") Do you want food? "No." Water? "No." Puffs? Yes! But she's not clear on "yes" yet. It sounds like "zess." Or she'll clap or laugh. She is very much into the Gerber Graduates Puffs right now. She's been demolishing a container of apple cinnamon ones for the past few days. Before, she didn't know what to do with them. She'd play with them and scrape them with her fingernails. Now she eats the heck out of them. And makes a mess with them, of course.

Right now she is reaching out to touch our Christmas tree, touching the faux pine needles, saying something I'm not sure about and pulling back her hand, then doing it all over again. Daddy is asleep on the floor near her now. He stayed up until 4 a.m. working on some freelance projects.

Earlier this evening she ate a couple pieces of a Dorito. They went down fine. (You see, she has been struggling with a MAJOR gag reflex since she first tried solid foods.) Then suddenly, a chip touched the wrong part of her tongue, the coughing began, I started to prep for a guyser, she stopped choking ... then spewed on me like the pie-eating contest scene in "Stand By Me." Right in the crotch of my jeans and all over the living room chair. Yuck. Oh well. I'm a mommy now. This is my life.

But things are getting better. She's eating more solid things without gagging or throwing up. She's pulling herself up really well. She's been cruising for a few weeks now. Before she would just stand herself up and stay there. For long periods of time. But now she's cruising. And Grandpa works on walking her around the house. She's still scootching around, but now she's really fast.

And she's talking like crazy. Most of the time it's in her own Bella language. But she's also got quite a few words in her vocabulary.

Dad
Dada (which sometimes means Daddy and sometimes means me, Mommy)
Mamamama (I can get her to say this if I repeat it a lot)
Pop Pop (Grandpa ... new in the last week)
Baba (bottle ... used occasionally ... she likes to sign and click for this one still)
Puff (or something like it ... she loves puffs!)
Cracker (she also loves Gerber Graduates cheese crackers)
Ki-kat (kitty cat)
Sha-pere (Shakespeare ... one of our cats)
Go go go!
Bye bye
Hello
Hi
Duck (practically her first word, which she growls)
Dragon (she also flies like a dragon ... Grandma taught her this one and also how to roar)
Mermaid (Grandma is working on this with her)
No
Yes (zess)

I've also heard her say "Tigger" and "bear" for Pooh Bear. I also think she said "Santa" recently.

She's amazing. I know every parent thinks their child is brilliant, but can you blame them? It's like the Police song says: "Every little thing she does is magic." And that is so true. I love witnessing how she is discovering and learning the world. Right now she's simultaneously talking to the Christmas tree, shaking her container of cheese crackers, pulling all the items out of her diaper bag and trying to open a jar of mac and cheese. And putting a container of her veggies under the tree. Scratch that; she's piling ALL her baby food under the tree. It is a merry Christmas!

May Santa fill all your stockings with stage 2 sweet potatoes and apple sauce.

-Minda
Thi

Why so few posts?

2007-11-29T08:11:00.001-08:00

You have probably noticed that I don't post here much anymore (if you are reading this, that is). I've been posting more often on my MySpace page. You can check it out at www.myspace.com/thecemeteryclub. But I have found that I can post really cool widgets here, so check out my new cyber pet Mookie the kitten and Pac-Man on the right. Cool, eh? More time wasters online. Gotta love it!

I've changed my tune ... and my title

2007-10-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

I've changed the title of this blog to "The Mommy Show." I decided that I really don't like "The Accidental Mom" tag anymore. I still feel like I fell into the mommy thing like I tripped on a rug, but it wasn't a real accident. The Peanut was very much wanted and is very much loved. So while the link name is still the same, at least the inside name is different.

Right now I'm researching social media (and this is indeed social media as well) and also chatting with a Lulu.com agent about why I loaded my magazing contents and will now be receiving a two-page document in the mail. That I paid $10 for. I'm ticked off with myself for not knowing how the hell Lulu works (first time using, people) and with Lulu for not being more clear. Mostly with myself because it was all user error. I was in a rush to get the mag done and out to people. I then was in a rush to purchase one to view as a proof. Now I'm finding out that I've made a royal mess out of it. ARGH!!!!

This is my problem sometimes. I steamroll my way into my projects and keep going until they are done or I freak out ... and then get help in finishing them.

Now I'm trying to upload a 264 MB file. Taking forever. Gotta be an easier, more effective way to do this. I need more training.

More later ... need to see if Don C. can assist me further.

-M

One Year ...

2007-09-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

What all can happen in one year? The birth of a child and the growth of a child. New life--for her for us. A renewal of life--for us, for family. My baby turned one year old yesterday.

While getting into the car yesterday morning to head over to my parents' house (to get ready for the birthday party), I noticed that another tooth had popped through in Bella's little mouth. Number seven, located to the right of her two bottom teeth. She hadn't had any teething pain that we'd noticed for at least a week.

It's funny, even though it's just the matter of one day, she actually has changed over night. After taking drinks from her sippy cup today, she let the water run out of her mouth. I was sitting next to her in the car, she in her car seat. "No, Bella. That's bad. Be a good girl and drink your water." She did it again. "No, that's bad." I took the sippy cup away. She looked at me, and huge tears welled up in her eyes. She acted like I had just taken her favorite doll away and threw her in the garbage. I had never seen her react to anything exactly like that before. This same thing happened again later. My mom said, "Well, I guess you have the evil eye after all." I didn't even know I was doing it! My god, I am my mother!

Other things Bella has been doing? She draws on a MagnaDoodle. She's working on pulling herself up. She's starting to get up her knees and lunging onto my lap, big pillow and Daddy's lap. If you ask her where your nose is, she points to it--actually presses her index finger on it (thanks to Tracey!). She scootches like crazy--so much that she sometimes gets rug burns on her legs and the sides of her feet.

My little girl. Our little girl.

The Babe

2007-09-17T09:18:00.001-07:00

Amazing Bella

2007-08-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

You can tell I'm in baby mode since I haven't posted on here in ages.

Quick update:

Bella is 10 months old. She can spin sitting straight up by moving her legs in a circle. She's gotten really good at this. She's saying Dada, Daa, something like Grandpa, Gaaa? (which is a question), cat and duck. She smiles when I say Binky.

Yesterday she figured out how to pull herself up from lying down into a sitting position. She was so pleased with herself when she did it last night, she pointed her finger and arm up in the air and did a victory spin.

She has three top teeth coming in right now. Two have broken through. She was sick all weekend with a virus and her teeth. Fever, productive sneezing, not sleeping well. Poor peanut.

I can't believe how fortunate we are to have her. It is such a priviledge to be her mommy.

She is amazing.

Perfect Night

2007-07-01T18:37:00.000-07:00

Perfect. What does that word mean, anyway? Tonight I'm sitting in my living room near my husband and baby who are snoozing on the couch while I watch "Desperate Housewives." We've spent most of the day organizing, cleaning and doing yard work. We've all accomplished something today. I got stuff done around the house (which is a major feat in itself), Bill mowed the lawn and trimmed all eight bushes (and they are monsters), and Bella did baby things. She practiced standing, had FOUR poopy diapers, played in her circus exersaucer, took two naps, and played with Mommy and Daddy. Before all this, we had breakfast with my mom and dad. It was a pretty great day.

Bella and I stayed in and went through her old clothes to see what didn't fit, didn't have stains, etc. We then sorted it into consignment, pass-alongs and Good Will. I also bagged up some of my stuff for Good Will. As a pack rat, it feels good to let go of stuff. I wish it was easier. But we have a start and are very excited that Vintage Baby is now, as of today, accepting fall and winter clothes. Bella was born in September, so most of her out-grown stuff is from fall and winter. One plastic bin is now empty.

Another major feat was getting another plastic bin out of our bedroom. I've been working on going through my clothes, organizing and reorganizing, making a mess, making piles, rearranging piles, hanging things up, not hanging things up, making it worse ... not making a dent. So my dent was made. One bin is gone. Banished to the basement. To be dealt with another time.

After that, I did the dishes. Then I cleaned half the kitchen table. It was cleaned off and cleaned up. Only half? You might not think that is much of anything, but if you knew anything about the flat surfaces in our house, you'd think it was pretty awesome.

Oh, another thing is that Bill purchased a new dehumidifier for our basement. Our old one went ka-blooey weeks ago, and we finally got our state tax return. After shopping around for the best one for what we need, Bill got a 50-gallon Whirlpool with a five-year warranty. It's such a grown-up thing to do to comparison shop for dehumidifiers and warranties.

It's been a good day. Perhaps it really was a perfect day. I spent time with the people I love, we all got things done, and five people signed up for the class I'm teaching in a couple weeks. And I didn't have to go to the office. Things at the office have been rough lately, I won't deny that. I'm working on letting all that go and focusing only on the good. Because even if I've been unhappy with the frustrating and depressing things going on at the office, I have been there 12 years. And I'm bigger than all the stuff that has been making me and so many others miserable. I have very good benefits and time off, and that means I can provide for and take care of my family. They are the most important thing in my life.

So a day spent with my daughter with me working around the house with her by my side, yes, that's a perfect day. And I am grateful.

More recent Bella photo

2007-06-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

Here's a more recent pic of Bella. This was taken at 8 months. She'll be 9 months in just a few days!

We're going to see the Idols!

2007-06-19T20:18:00.000-07:00

We did it! We bought tickets to go se "American Idols Live 6." I'm so excited! Bill and Bella and I were dedicated fans this year. While we pegged Jordin early on as the likely winner, Bella and I were Blaker Girls. Bill was, too, but he won't admit it. He would totally crack up when Blake would start beat boxing--not in making fun but just because it was so cool and natural and sounded so great. One of my theories--and I have so many about so many things--is that he's not a beat boxer at all; he actually has a form of Tourette's Syndrome. :-) He's so damn good!

Bill and I are going to the concert--they're actually coming to The Mark in Moline, our home town--with my parents. We went to their house to watch the finale. Bella, who was in lovely voice, sang along with each song. "Aaaaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!" was how most of her versions of the songs went. Of course she was also at full volume. We just laughed; she was having such a good time that we couldn't mind.

So my plan, even though we'll be in the nosebleeds, is to make a big sign with a picture of Bella that says "Bella's a Blaker Girl!" Bill says he won't hold the sign with me. I know it's because he'll be holding his own Sanjaya sign and wearing a pony-hawk.

Monty Python's Wizard of Oz

2007-06-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" to Bella for the past few months. We're meandering through the book, as she is only 8 months old. Usually she falls asleep, as we read it before bedtime. This was a good thing tonight ... well, she's a baby, so she wouldn't have understood anyway, but still!

Growing up on the film version, I had no idea how the story actually goes. I thought I had read the original, but apparently I had read a movie-adapted one. Little did I know that flying monkeys were far from the most gruesome part of the book. Apparently the movie skipped over how the Tin Woodman became a tin woodman. He wasn't always made of tin. Oh, no. He was a real man, once upon a time. He was also in love with a Munchkin. But the Munchkin maiden lived with and cared for a lazy old woman (that's really what she was called) who didn't want her to marry and leave her. So she offered the Wicked Witch of the East a cow and a sheep or something to keep the woodman from marrying her indentured Munchkin. The witch, in turn, cast a spell on the woodman's ax. As the woodman was out chopping wood (to make money to build a nice house for the Munchkin), the hexed ax chopped off his leg--wha wha whaa whaaaaaat???? Yes, indeed, CUT OFF HIS LEG. But that's not the worst of it. First, he went to see the tinner, as you do, and the tinner made him a nice shiney tin leg. Then he ended up chopping off his other leg. The tinner replaced that, too. Then the bewitched ax cut off his arms one at a time. And THEN, when he thought he had beat the old witch by surviving, the ax CUT OFF HIS HEAD. I kid you not. And I'm reading this to my baby! She's sound asleep with a binky hanging out of her mouth, but I'm trying to read aloud with my mouth gaping open. And, as if the head getting cut off wasn't the worst thing that could happen (though LUCKILY the tinner happened to be walking by and made him a new head), the ax then chopped what was left of his body clean in two. Well, that's just a bad day all around.

Now I'm not about censorship or book banning. I do not believe that we should all go out and storm the libraries and demand that this craziness be removed from the shelves (unlike that crazy woman who wanted "Harry Potter" banned from the school library--dude, monitor what your kid reads but don't dictate your cracked ideas to everyone). I was just surprised! How could I have gone through 34 years of life without knowing the real story of "The Wizard of Oz"? And I was an English major! Shame on me!

So anyway, Frank L. Baum evidentally had a little bit of Monty Python in him. He was Python before Python was cool. Who knew the Tin Woodman was predecessor to the Black Knight? "It's only a flesh wound!" The Wicked Witch of the East really did deserve to have that house dropped on her. Instant karma's gonna getchu.

I can't wait to hear the Cowardly Lion's story. Perhaps he was once a woman ....

Mom of the Year

2007-05-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

(not for the weak of stomach)

Well, one day after my very first Mother's Day, I made my baby throw up. Actually, projectile vomit. Prunes. All over herself, her changing table and the toys she had been happily playing with before said event. I am a lame mother.

It was all in the name of helping my child out of the pain she was in. Bella is teething. I can feel a tiny bit of tooth trying to push in on her bottom gum. Very front, right tooth. As it is my duty to be the parental savior of this little babe, I got out the Orajel. Unfortunately, it's cherry flavored. And unfortunately, it makes Bella gag. And vomit.

Granted, the stuff is strong smelling. This should have tipped me off. And the fact that I used it earlier this past weekend once and she made a gagging face should have really done so. But I thought that she just wasn't a fan. It seemed to make her feel a lot better after her initial gag-but-no-puke reaction. But the second I put it on her little gum, she got a look of horror in her eyes and the gorge started to come up. Her face turned red and her mouth formed a terrible "o" shape. This was not going to be good.

I sat her up as quickly as I could. The thought crossed my mind that I should rush her to the bathroom and over the toilet, but she's 7 months old. That just seemed dumb. In less than 30 seconds it was over. Not only would there have been no time to get her in there, we would have left a nasty trail across our already completely grody off-white (or as we like to call it, off-dirt) wall-to-wall carpeting.

The amazing thing is that I didn't get sick myself. I was so worried that all the gross stuff that comes with babies would make me ill. Nope. It's true that when it's your own, you have a constitution of steel. Well, not really. But the well-being of the baby comes first. I'll throw myself in front of a car to save her if the need arises. And if anyone tries anything with her, there'll be some serious throwin' down. I've always been protective of those I love, but the love I have for Bella transcends anything I've ever felt before. There are times when I'm holding her and thinking about how wonderful she is and how much I love her, I can barely even stand it. I could bawl.

But back to the puke. It was pretty gross. And she'd recently eaten prunes. They were the same color as the Orajel, but I know I didn't put THAT much gel on her gums.

The good thing was that once she got it all out, she was fine. She started chattering and laughing and singing in her baby way. Her favorite thing to say as of late is, "Goy-ya goy-ya goy-ya goy-ya" with her hand in her mouth. So I got her undressed and gave her a bath in the tub she has outgrown. I'm not sure what to do about the tub issue. Buy her a bigger one? Plastic? A blow-up duck one? Do I really want to blow up a huge duck every time she needs a bath? I just don't know.

Well, we survived the first real "sick" episode. We already survived her first cold and her first owie. It had to happen sooner or later. Now I'm on the hunt for a new teething soother. The Orajel with the "pleasant cherry flavor" hit the trash on top of a dirty diaper. After visiting the Orajel site, I have found that they do not sell any other flavors other than berry. Hmm. I'm thinking that's not going to be much better. Perhaps we'll try Hyland's homeopathic gel. It doesn't look like it's flavored. I mean, my gosh, the kid has a limited diet of flavors. Apparently cherry isn't a favorite.

By the way, this pic was taken a few months ago with my camera phone. I call it "Blair Witch Baby." That is now the look she gives anyone who says "Orajel" to her.

TV Hates Women

2007-05-07T08:23:00.000-07:00

So instead of starting this post with, "Is it just me, or does TV hate women?", I can cut to the chase. TV does hate women. More specifically, TV producers and writers hate women. I'm a TV fan, so I know. I know what's good and well-written. And I know what's bad, and I don't watch it. The only time swill like "The Bachelor" is ever on my TV is when I've watched something before it, and I get wrapped up in something else and don't change the channel. It's crap like that show that teach women and girls to hate each other.

Come on, really--twenty or whatever women all vying for the same man? Like that would EVER happen in real life. And finding true love on a TV show is just ridiculous. It's a competition. The guy is making out with a number of the girls (okay, while I dont' watch the show itself, I do see the commercials since I do watch other ABC shows) and then tells the camera, "This is so hard. I don't want to hurt anybody." Right. If that was the case, the ego-feeding role wouldn't have gone to you, buddy. You're going to hurt people--and they signed up for the hurtin'. This is one case where "she asked for it" is actually true.

Here is a link to an interesting article on AlterNet.org. Read this and think again about what's on your TV.

Prime-Time TV Sweeps: As Demeaning Images of Women Rise, So Do Ratings

TV. I love it and I hate it. If only it would be used for good instead of evil all of the time.

Because Mommies Love Buffy

2007-03-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

At least this mommy does. While I was on maternity leave, Bella and I watched the last and the first two seasons of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (being a newborn, Bella had no idea she was watching it out of order). It is my ALL-time favorite TV show. Buffy and her friends tackle many demons, including the most horrible ones--the ones inside. While a little violent for children (when old enough to understand what violence is), it's an incredible show.

While we watched the episodes, I told Bella that she should be strong like Buffy. Buffy's strength doesn't really lie in her fists and round-houses; it's inside her. She never gives up. She's constantly saving the world, no matter how hard it seems to be. She is loyal to her family and friends. She is also flawed. Buffy may have super powers, but she is like the rest of us. Her heart still breaks, she still struggles in school, she still has dreams like the rest of us. I could go on and on about Buffy Summers and her fantastic group of friends, but I have work to do.

I will leave you with this, though. It's a clip from behind the scenes of the episode "Once More, With Feeling," which is my all-time favorite. It's from season six, and it's the musical. I've got the soundtrack and have listened to it more times that I can count. I love it! If you've seen the episode and haven't seen this, check it out. I don't know if this is available on the season six DVD set, but I'll have to check. I hadn't seen it before. It's a good time. Enjoy!

Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Making of the Musical

A new thing

2007-03-20T07:49:00.001-07:00

A new thing

All Clear

2007-03-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

"All clear." That's what the voice says. It doesn't matter what happens, that's what the voice says.

The voice is in our basement. It's a woman's voice. An electronic version of a woman's voice. The first time I heard it, I almost had a heart attack. I was taking laundry out of the dryer. "All clear." I froze. What was it? Who was it? Once I unfroze, I shot up the stairs like the devil himself was chasing me. Did I think it was the voice of a ghost? No, but it might as well have been.

I asked Bill if he had heard it. "Yeah. Don't know where it's coming from, though." Neither did I, and I was not about to go back down there to find out. Not right then.

Since that night, I've been down in the basement pretty much daily. It is, after all, my basement. Usually I hear the voice at least once while I'm doing laundry. Bill and I have looked for the source but haven't figured it out yet. Maybe we don"t really want to know. It's almost like a code now. Whatever is going on in our lives, we are reminded that it's all clear.

Keep this in mind as I tell you what else has happened lately.

A month ago we remembered that at the end of last summer our central air unit stopped working. All clear.

Three weeks ago I had a change to a medication I've been taking. It's a good change, one that means I'll be off it soon, but it's giving me terrible headaches and some dizziness. There's a light at the end of that tunnel, though. All clear.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, Bill lost his job. He got fired as a scapegoat. We have a six-month-old daughter. I do not have a million-dollar job. What the heck are we going to do? All clear.

This morning we discovered that our furnace stopped working. This is after the weather went from ice storms a couple weeks ago to seventies two days this week to a high in the forties today. It will be a low of twenty-five degrees tonight. When I left my house to stay at my parents' place, it was about sixty. It's currently thirty-eight outside. Ten more degrees dropping and drafty old windows in our house equal one cold night. All clear.

So Bella and I are staying with my mom and dad tonight. Bill and his sinus cold decided to tough it out with the cats. I'm not happy about this. All clear.

I don't know what "all clear" means, where it's coming from and who is saying it. All I know is that these last few weeks have been pretty wicked. I'd like them to be all clear. Cleared away.

Compared to what many people have gone through, this is nothing. It's nothing anyway. No one's lost their life. No one is going to be altered forever in terrible ways. For that, I'm thankful. I still had a tearful meltdown tonight. My husband is sleeping alone in our frozen house with a cold and three needy cats. And I'm online, trying to figure it all out as I write.

Listening to John Tesh on the radio as we drove home from dinner tonight, Tesh's Intelligence for Your Life Minute was all about being in the now. With a broken furnace, a sick husband with no job, looming bills, a magazine that still needs to be printed, back-logged work at the office, the promise of a way too long office meeting in the morning over stuff that is just going to piss most of my co-workers off, and the fact that my baby girl is going to see her doctor and get another set of shots ... I find it a little hard to be "in the now."

I suppose I'll finish up here and do my best to relax. After all, the disembodied voice says it's all clear. Who am I to argue?

Personal Writing from 2003

2007-03-07T09:32:00.001-08:00

Time
1/14//03

Sometimes it seems only hours have passed. Sometimes weeks. But there are also times when it seems like decades have passed, not just four years. When did he die? 1998? June 20? Yes. Four and a half years ago. All those days have passed without him. It doesn’t seem like it could be.

I think the saddest day in a person’s life is when he truly understands that we will die. It is that day when the mortal coil begins to unravel. Whether we die in old age or of some terrible twist of fate, we know it will come to us one day. When we understand this, truly understand it, our innocence is lost.

There are harsh moments in our lives when the child in us gets knocked out of us. When we overhear on the playground that there is no Santa Claus or that it’s really our parents who leave the money under our pillows, a part of us dies. We can never get that magic back. And that is what it is. It is magic that fills our lives with wonder. But unlike Tinkerbell, who we can clap our hands for and bring back to life, adult reality cannot be regained. It is gone forever, banished to a land called Honalee.

When my grandfather died, it was no shock. He had been ill for a very long time. Kidney failure, heart failure, you name it. Grandpa had been very sick off and on since 1990. But he would rally back every time. That summer, though, he was done. There was no fight left in him. It was time.

Grandpa died before I met my husband. Bill missed him by a year and a half. I wish he could have met him. Grandpa always told me I was going to “be all right.” If he had met Bill, he would have known for sure. He would see how much Bill loves me and how much I love him. And Bill would have met the second most influential man in my life (after my dad). Grandpa encouraged me just by being there. I loved him with everything I could give him. Even when there were times when I didn’t like him, I always loved him and always will. I was his favorite, but I earned it.

I think that’s the difference between my cousins and me. My parents taught me how to love and how to accept love. I don’t think the others know how. They trudge along, working and working at it. It’s really not that hard. You just hold out your heart and trust someone with it.

“Keep this for me, Grandpa, and I promise to laugh at your jokes and think it perfectly normal for you to honk your horn and wave out the window to nobody at all.” “Just making friends,” he would say. And I believed him. Some of my best friends are those no one can see.

Everyone needs someone who will love them no matter what. And it has to be someone besides your parents. Parents give an entirely different kind of love. It is unconditional, but it can be tough. The love of a grandparent or adult friend or neighbor or aunt or uncle can be transcendent. It is a love that has no rules except to love. That’s all your in for. You don’t have to maintain order or enforce rules. You are there for the heart and the soul only.

A Book to Read

2007-03-06T13:41:00.000-08:00

Listening to NPR today, I heard of a book I definitely want to read: "When I Was a Loser: True Stories of (Barely) Surviving High School" edited by John McNally. Here's the book description (from Amazon.com), "Who's teenage years weren't terrible? Remember the scary older kids? The sadistic gym teacher? The smelly kid who sat next to you in science class? Your first fumbling kiss? That time you threw up in the cafeteria? Your first attempt at putting on a condom? The period that arrived unexpectedly? That awful fight with your parents? The first time you got drunk? That note you wrote that you shouldn't have written? The day you forgot to zip your fly? That monster zit? When, you wondered, would it all end?"

I don't care who you are, who you were or who you will be ... we were all losers at one time or were scared we would become one. I did my best to stay in the middle of things. I feel I accomplished that in high school. In junior high, not so much. And really not at all in sixth grade. After fifth grade, the city closed my elementary school and we were transferred to Franklin Elementary. While Ben Franklin was probably a peach in his day--discovering electricity and kites and all that--his grade school left a lot to be desired. Actually the school was fine. My teacher was fine. It was the kids who were atrocious. Given, we were on their turf. There were so many of us sixth graders that three classes were created for all of us. But these kids were snobs. And I know it came from their parents down. How else would the the phrase, "Oh, you're from below the hill" really become part of their grade school talk? My hometown is built on the Mississippi Valley; with a valley comes a bluff--on both sides of the river. So everyone either lives on top of a hill or below it. It's simple geography. According to the Franklin snobs, though, "below the hill" stood for "the other side of the tracks." So we were all losers. I could go on, but that will have to be for another post.

McNally's book of author essays sounds right up my alley. It would be a great resource for Girls Make a Difference, if indeed that program gets resurrected by the Augustana College students who have shown interest in doing so. Here's an excerpt from the book (as posted on NPR in the article "Fitting In and Why We Love Losers".

"I knew a kid in high school — let's call him Bill — who couldn't catch a break. At the annual high school theater festival, Bill ran up behind a girl he thought he knew and put his hands over her eyes, only to realize (too late) that she wasn't the girl he thought she was. The girl — this perfect stranger whose eyes he covered — took offense, and so her boyfriend, who'd been standing nearby, decided to do what dumb guys do best: He pummeled Bill. ...

Yet another time, Bill sent a cassette tape to my girlfriend, in which he confessed a variety of mushy feelings he had for her. My girlfriend brought it over to my house one night and played it for me. Instead of letting it be — I was the one with the girlfriend, after all — I decided to remix the tape, using my crude stereo equipment, so that Bill would stop speaking in the middle of sentences to repeat the sappy things he'd said, sometimes repeating them three or four times in a row, sometimes even stuttering them (my doing, of course). Oh, yes, I was a hilarious guy all right. My girlfriend didn't think so, but my friends did.

My point? For starters, "loserdom" is a moveable feast. Bill, who already had a long and glorious history as a loser, appears to be the obvious loser when he sends the cheesy tape to my girlfriend. But then my girlfriend exhibits some loser qualities of her own by playing the tape for me. By story's end, however, the biggest loser turns out to be yours truly. I took this poor kid's heartfelt sentiment and turned it into a personal (and cruel) joke. As fate would have it, though, I got my comeuppance. A few months later, after breaking up with me, my girlfriend attended the next big dance with Bill, leaving me alone with my cleverly edited cassette tape, a tape that was curiously no longer all that funny. The joke was on me. And it was a good joke, too. There's nothing like love's reversal of fortunes to really drive the stake through one's heart.

My other point? We've all been losers. Come on, admit it: You were a loser. You wouldn't be reading this book if you weren't. But you also probably know the truth, that everyone has been a loser at one time or another — a loser in love, a loser in fashion, a loser in social skills. ...

[In high school], cool isn't an illusion. Cool is the Holy Grail."

Wow. Does this all sound familiar? Do you find yourself nodding in agreement? Feeling those old waves of pain? I do. I wasn't even striving to be cool; I was just trying my darndest to be cool enough. Cool enough to be liked, cool enough to fit in, cool enough to survive. Now, at 34, I'm so cool I'm like Vanilla Ice. Only cooler. And not a dumb white boy rapper wannabe. I'm cool because I don't give a rip. I'm free to be you and me. I'm all that and a bag of organic chips.

What I worry about is Bella. Bella is a cool chick. Indeed she's the coolest baby ever. But what about when she goes to school? What about the little evil children who turn perfectly perfect children into crying blobs--who worry about their weight, their acne, their clothes and more? The evil children who are so worried about being cool themselves that they make other kids feel hated? The evil kids who aren't really evil but seem evil so they might as well be. Don't shake your head like you don't understand, because I know you do! These are the kids who can say as little as two words and make another kid miserable the rest of his or her school life. Two words sneered, such as "Nice shoes," can kill a kid from the inside out. "Nice shoes" means "those are the most hideous shoes ever in the world and you a a HUGE loser for wearing them and you should never show your face at this school again." Parents, if you have a kid going through school angst, don't tell me you haven't rolled your eyes at your child and told him or her to get over it. And don't tell me you didn't go through something similar when you were your kid's age but have mentally blocked it out. It's a part of life; we've all dealt with it. None of us want our kids to deal with it, but we sometimes forget how hard it is.

So I want to read this book for a number of reasons. To connect with fellow losers. To hear their stories. To remember how it was so that I will be understanding for my own daughter as she grows up.

It was just released today, so look for it in your local bookstore.

Dedicated to My Daughter

2007-03-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

March is Women's History Month. Annabella, you may not be old enough to understand the importance of this month, but that's okay. Right now it's your job to be the best baby you can be--and that's just being you. For the rest of us, here is some information and some links to celebrate Women's History Month in your honor.

Carrying the World
Women make the world go round, not by just showing up
but by holding it on their shoulders and carrying it around the sun.
Women quietly go about the business of loving,
caring, giving and moving mountains.
Girls, amidst their play, are goddesses in waiting,
waiting their turns to carry the world.
Waiting their turns to make a difference,
no matter how quietly or loudly.
But always powerfully.

-Minda Powers-Douglas

Women's History Month at History.com

Women's History Month free resources from Thompson Gale'

Why Women's History Month at TimeForKids.com

In the News

2007-03-02T07:28:00.000-08:00

Priorities. What are our priorities as a nation? It's no wonder so many people around the world think we're a bunch of selfish morons.

Check this out, on the Yahoo home page they have the usual listing of news of importance. At least that's the assumption. As of 9:22 a.m., the lead news stories included:

- Sunnie group linked to al-Qaida claims it kidnapped 18 Iraqis
- S. Korea delays aid to N. Korea until reactor shut down
- Cheney warns against hasty withdrawal from Iraq
- Six killed after bus plunges off Atlanta road
- Mortar blasts hit Somali capital as peacekeepers arrive
- Cassini spacecraft takes new pictures of Saturn
- Angelia Jolie set to adopt Vietnamese child

Which one of these DOES NOT BELONG IN THE NEWS????!!!!!

My god, at least eight people died after a tornado ripped through a school in Alabama yesterday. And that gets trumped by Bradgelina? It's awesome that she's adopting another poor child in need, but do we really need to know every time she does so? She adopts somebody every other month, so she could really have her own news show if that's the case.

Actually I'm really surprised that Anna Nicole's funeral is not top of the news list. it was already on the Today Show. And I have to admit that I am interested in the proceedings. But I do have an excuse--I'm writing an opinion article on burial delays for Epitaphs Magazine. I still feel a bit like a vulture, though. What are you gonna do?

It's a Boy!

2007-03-02T07:24:00.000-08:00

My friend Katie had her little boy! Carter Matthew Hoyt, 6 lbs 12 ounces!

Congratulations to Katie and Carl and their families!

Yesterday at 4 p.m. while she was standing in the office, Katie suddenly said, "I think my water just broke. It feels like I just peed my pants." She was wearing tall boots, so it went into them and not on the floor. Ha! Too funny. She was very calm about it, but I recognized that she was going into the birthing zone. You don't freak out, you start going internally. I've described it before as and out-of-body feeling except that you are going deep inside yourself. You are all about the business of getting things done. It's a feeling like no other I have ever experienced.

I am so happy for her. What an amazing journey she has begun. Love ya, Katie! You're already a great mom!

Minda

House for Sale 55 Cents

2007-03-01T07:12:00.000-08:00

I remember that old jump rope song from my youth: "House for sa-ale, 55 cents ... how many doctors did it take?" Okay, so I don't remember it exactly. But I do remember the Cinderella one!

Cinderella dressed in yella,
Went upstairs to kiss her fella,
Made a mistake and kissed a snake.
How many doctors did it take
1, 2, 3, . . . .

That Cinderella was not very bright. I mean how many times have you ever mistaken a snake for your fella?

So back to why this post is called what it is. It all started three weeks or so ago when I saw that there was a big blue house for sale on the street where I grew up (and also three houses down from my cousin). Just for kicks, I looked it up and discovered it was going for the same price we bought our house for five years ago! How could that be? Well, it turns out it was repossessed and probably not in the best shape, but still. We're talking$49,500. Even socking a bunch of money into it would be a steal. But we'll never know since by the time I called to check it out, four bids had been put in on it. Sold.

The house talk, though, got me thinking. It couldn't hurt to look around. We have a tiny bungalo with two bedrooms. And we have a ton of stuff. Sure we could get rid of our stuff, but that would mean we'd be dead. Bill and I are both pack rats, a condition I am working on getting over. In the mindset of dreaming of a new house (a new old house, as I like them with character), the baby and I drove around the Franklin school district, since Bill and I want Bella to go to school where we did--good schools. There is a house a street down from us that I was curious about. I looked it up and they are asking $62,900 for it. That's doable. But, holy cow, it has six bedrooms? Are you sure? And one and 3/4 baths? Really? So I'm looking at the pictures online, and it looks gorgeous on the inside. It looks pretty nice. But why so cheap?

I should probably say a little bit about house stuff regarding us here. I'm sure there are plenty of people reading this (well, I hope "plenty" of people actually read my blog!) who are thinking "what a bunch of cheap asses" trying to get a decent house for under $100,000. Here's the deal. I grew up in a teeny house. I don't need anything fancy. I'm not into the pre-fab houses that all look alike and cost a fortune. I'm living in the first house I've ever bought--a little yellow two-bedroom bungalo. We bought it before even the realtors could have a walk-through. It was a STEAL. A little old lady, Mrs. Lane, had lived there and after she died, her family wanted to be rid of the property. They lived in Chicago and didn't want to have to worry about it. The only things we didn't care for was that the house was super-close to a major avenue (kids and pets, beware) and it had off-white wall-to-wall carpeting in every room but the kitchen and bathroom. Bill and I and two cats at the time were not the off-white plush carpeting type. I mean, Mrs. Lane had plastic slipcovers on her furniture, for crying out loud! Probably rolling in her grave, that lady. Because we landed upon such a sweet deal for our current house (and pay just over what I was paying for rent), I know we can find a house that is a super deal and is right for us. So to me, a house in the $60s doesn't seem to out there.

This one was. We went to see it last night. Like the blue house, it's a repo. And let me tell you, the realtor has a fine knack with the digital camera. The photos on the listing make it look great.

The outside looks good. I've driven past it many times. It's big, but I had no idea exactly how BIG it was. This picture is of the kitchen. It's a wide enough shot to show it's good size. But it's not close enough to show that the queen of stenciling used to live there. Photos also can't share the smell. This house stank. Very old carpets. Granted, this house was built in 1892, but you'd think the carpets would have been replaced a few times since then!

Now here's the bathroom. Spacious and looks great. It did in person, too. This is the only room that looked as good as its photo.

This is a pic of one of the upstairs bedrooms--one of five upstairs. The one downstairs was a girl's room. It had very poorly done sponge painting in bright purple with a very cute wallpaper of fairies I've seen in the stores. Not surprised they didn't post a pic of that room!

Here's the attic. This was the one room of the house I had no idea was so huge. And I mean HUGE. HUUUUUUUUUGE. It was like walking into a church. I freakin' loved it!

I love this house. Not in the way of "I'm going to buy it." That would be a big hell no. This is what people in the real estate business call a "real fixer-upper." It's what people also call a money pit (or something that rhymes with "pit"). This house had to have been gorgeous in its day. It's huge and wonderful. It is such a shame that it's been wounded so. Water damage has made parts of some of the ceilings fall down. The carpets are trashed, and it would cost a fortune to fill that house with new. It's 2,200+ square feet! Six bedrooms, a basement with potential and an attic that could be something fantastic. If money was no object, I'd buy it in a heartbeat and let a fleet of contractors go to town. But in the real world, it's no house for us. Someone who loves refurbishing houses will make this house into something grand. I would love to see it after they do. Until then, we are happy in our little bungalo with our three cats and little baby. I'll keep dreaming along the way, but we're happy no matter what.

It's Oscar Night ...

2007-02-25T20:41:00.000-08:00

And the Oscar goes to ... my daughter for eating big girl food so well last night. Yes, no matter how accomplished the films up for awards are tonight, none compare to watching Annabella eat peaches and rice cereal with a spoon.

Last weekend, she had some rice cereal in her formula for the first time. Then earlier this week she had some organic bananas. It was so wonderful to watch her experience such taste and texture for the first time. Last night she ate with a spoon for only the third time, and she was such a pro. She had had some peaches and formula-rice cereal mix with me earlier and did pretty good. But when my mom fed her last night, she was great. Dipping her head down to get to the spoon and then sucking the food right out of the spoon. It was much more amazing than any Oscar award-winning movie. She has had so many firsts already, and each one makes me prouder than the one before.

But as far as the Oscars do go, I'm glad "Little Miss Sunshine" won best screenplay. That was the one category I knew ahead of time. I often know this one. The movie that usually wins is the one that is nominated for best picture but has no real chance against the heavy hitters. To quote Stephen Colbert, "I called it." But yay for them. Great film. Excellent writing. Love Steve Carrell, love Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette. Love the rest of the cast. But it's the writing and how heart-felt the story was that was the kicker.

Bill called best actor Forrest Whittaker. He just won for "The Last King of Scotland" and is speaking right now. But since I'm curious about a house down the avenue from us, I logged onto the ReMax site to look it up and haven't been watching the awards as closely (Martin Scorsese finally won!). It's not listed yet, of course, this house. No big. It's not the house I'm truly interested in anyway. That one is a big blue one three houses down from my cousin's on 48th Street. That's also the street where my parents live and where I grew up. It's a bigger house than what we have, it has a two-car garage, three bedrooms and two baths. Heaven! But when I called about it on a whim, the realtor told me there were already 4 bids on it. That was last week. No sale pending sign on it yet, but it's probably taken. Still, it would have been nice to check it out. It was listed at the same price we paid for this house five years ago. No wonder it's been swept up.

Well, the Oscars just ended at 11:18 p.m. CST, and it's time for bed. "The Departed" won. Congrats, Mr. Scorsese.

The Sick Mom

2007-02-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

Warning: this post goes into more detail than you probably want to know about the flu.

So much for that flu shot I had. I have the flu. I went home early from work yesterday. Not by much; just a half an hour. But that was only because I was hoping to get into the clinic on campus to get an adjustment. No go. So I left before I couldn't drive home anymore. I was dizzy, sick to my stomach and felt like I could pass out. I made it home, crying part of the way because I felt so crappy and because I was feeling really sorry for myself. I mean, here I was going home. My mom was sicker than me (so much so that my dad came to our house to watch the baby all day), Bill had to work until 8:30 p.m., and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of Bella all by myself and/or would get her sick, too. And I couldn't even get in to the clinic to get a !@#%! adjustment! That and I was also so achy. I was miserable. And I really needed to pump--my boobs were aching, too. That, and I really wanted to take a nap.

So I get home and before I even finish pumping, Dad has to go home to take care of mom. No nap for me. And of course Bella was wide awake and wanted some lovin'. How do you give you 5-month-old lovin' without making her sick, too? She's the best snuggler in the world, and all I wanted to do was snuggle with her, but I couldn't.

As miserable as I felt that evening, it all came to a nasty head around 8. At that time I was sitting on the toilet seat, throwing up into the bathtub. And wetting my
self. Lovely. Nothing says mom of the year like an incontinent, vomiting woman whose baby is in the living room crying her eyes out. Yep, I was feeling pretty awesome. Let me tell you, I don't plan on having Japanese any time soon. Miso soup is one of my favorites, but after spending the whole evening having it reflux up and then throwing it up ... well, yuck. Let's just say that seaweed smells even more fishy on the reverse. Again, yuck.

A little while after that fun episode--and right as Bill was coming in the door (Dad had come back to help me with the baby right before this)--I grabbed my soup pot and started toward the bathroom. Knowing I wasn't going to make it, I dropped to my hands and knees over the pot and let go. Hmm, no that's that really it. Anyone who's ever gotten sick before knows it's never that easy. It's a combination of heaves, dry and plentiful. God, I hate throwing up. I know there are people that can do it at the drop of a hat. Not me. I fight it. Even when I know it will probably make me feel better. I just know how awful it is.

I could never be bulimic for that reason. I know you can be bulimic by taking laxatives, too, but I couldn't do that either. As someone who is lactose intolerant, I know how terrible that is, too. Man, dear readers, this is majorly a "more than you ever wanted to know" post. Geez! But I do pride myself on being honest. Let's switch to my dream. My bad dream.

This morning I was dreaming a terrible dream. For some reason, while sick, my parents and I were staying at some cheap motel. And in town no less. It was morning and I was still sick. Mom and Dad had to take off, so it was just me and the baby. After they left I decided that I had to go into work to do something. I was just going to go there and back. When I got back, and if I felt better, I was thinking of taking Bella to the motel's pool. Always a good idea with a 5-month-old and a mom with the flu. So I leave. Alone. I leave the baby there. On purpose. "I won't be long and it would be better to leave her here," is what I was thinking. See why this is a bad dream? So I eventually get to work, which doesn't look like my office, and I talk to some people then go to my desk. It's then that I realize that there is no good reason for me to have even come there. I didn't need to pick anything up. So I decide to check my voicemail (I could have done that from anywhere) and then pack up my laptop. I don't need to do either of these but figure I should to make a show of actually needing to be at the office--a reason beyond possibly making everyone else sick. Especially the two pregnant girls. Then I take off to go back to the motel.

It is then that I realize that oh-my-god I left my baby all by herself. For probably an hour! What the hell was I thinking?! So I hustle back as fast as I can. Sometimes I'm in a car, sometimes riding a bicycle. Many obstacles are in my way. She is far across the cities (Quad Cities). This is when I start thinking of all the horrible things that may be happening to my baby. Suffocating herself on a blanket. Rolling out of her little chair and hurting herself. A maid coming in and hurting or abducting her. More obstacles get in my way, like construction, streets made of white gravel, etc.

I woke up before I made it back to my baby. Because this leaves me with a terrible feeling, I need to "finish" the dream. So I'll do that now:

A nice old man/scientist sees I am in a terrible rush to get somewhere (while I am stuck on the road) and gives me his rocket pack. I rocket myself to the crappy motel and throw open the door to see the baby sleeping (safely and soundly) where I left her. She hasn't moved and is dreaming the dreams of angels. As I run to her and take her into my arms, I realize that my flu is all gone. I feel 110% better! I can hug and kiss her all I want. We leave the motel and go home. It's a fast trip, we are home in no time. The baby doesn't get sick, I'm all better, and the house is completely clean from top to bottom and is beautifully organized.

Whew! I feel better already!

At this time, in reality, Bella is with my cousin Sheri as she usually is on Wednesdays. I'm home since I still feel yucky but not as yucky. But I'm not getting the pregnant people (or anyone else) sick. And as much as I want to be with Bella, it's best that she's with Sheri--so she doesn't get sick from me and so I can rest and get completely well.

I miss her, though. I haven't been able to give her kisses for more than 24 hours. I'm having withdrawal. I love that baby so much!

Well, I should see if I can eat something. Haven't done so since lunch yesterday. I didn't even take my medication last night. I would have tossed it anyway. Gotta do something, though.

Wish me luck!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

2007-02-20T08:30:00.000-08:00

Wish I was there ...

Punkin Uses a Spoon

2007-02-16T18:58:00.000-08:00

My little girl is all grown up. At 21 weeks, she ate with a spoon for the first time. It was a delicious blend of formula and rice cereal. She opened her mouth, pushed most of it out with her tongue, smiled at me and stuck her fingers in her mouth. This went on for a good ten or so minutes. I'm so proud!

Part of My Youth is Gone

2007-02-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

It's official. Part of my youth is disappearing. Part of the wonder, imagination and joy of my young life is going the way of the bulldozer.

According to a news article on Yahoo.com:
"In a wooded ravine tucked away from the water parks, restaurants and mega-resorts that dominate this tourist town, a piece of history is quietly dying. After more than half a century of wowing tourists (and causing probably more than a few cases of nausea), the Wonder Spot, a mysterious cabin where people can't stand up straight, water runs uphill and chairs balance on two legs, is no more."

Just about every year while I was growing up, my parents and I would drive the four or so hours up to the Wisconsin Dells for a few days of fun and frivolity. That was back in the days when the few waterparks that were there had a couple of water slides and a pool for bumper boats (rather than the small countries that make up the waterparks now; i.e. Noah's Art, et al). There were the yearly staples: the Wax Museum (now gone--another heart-breaker ... I can still smell the wax), walking the strip, playing ski ball at our favorite ski ball parlor (yes, there were actual ski ball parlors in the 1970s and 80s), eating at Paul Bunyan's (I wanted to go for breakfast while my parents were more the lunch or dinner fans) and Howie's. Then there were the places we went to occasionally but regularly. The Wonder Spot was one of these. It has now gone the way of Xanadu (the foam house of the future), the ski ball parlor and Fort Dells.

The funny thing is that I was just thinking about the Wonder Spot within the last four days. No joke! the Dells popped into my mind and I remember thinking, "I hope the Wonder Spot is still open by the time Bella is old enough to go. She'd like that." Well, so much for that little dream. Maybe it wasn't a big dream, but it was a dream none the less.

The thing is, there are so few "simple" attractions left anymore. How many World's Largest Balls of Twine do you see anymore? And can we have a moment for the sad state of the Corn Palace in Mitchell, Iowa? With so many high-tech amusement parks and "extreme" everything now, the heart and soul of Americana is dying. Good old fashioned fun is being replaced with Nintendo Wii and other way too expensive video game systems. As far as technology is concerned, my words of wisdom have been the same for years: "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Sometimes smaller, "no-tech" or simple is better. And when it comes to kids, it definitely is. We need to save room for imagination and non-intimidating pleasures. Watching water flow the opposite way it's supposed to and actually walking across a crazy slanted floor is something every child should do. It makes them laugh, and isn't that what it's all about?

Farewell, Wonder Spot, I knew you well. You brought much joy to me and my family. I'm glad my husband got to experience you a few years ago before you disappeared into kitschy memory.

The Wonder Spot is dead. Long live the Wonder Spot. 1952-2006.

Read the Yahoo article here

Mystery Spots around the country you can (still) visit are listed at Roadside America, which is a fabulous site and super fun book. A great way to plan your vacations!

On the Lookout for Baby Bargains

2007-02-05T08:58:00.000-08:00

Just for kicks (since I'm a shopaholic when it comes to my baby), I decided to look up bargains for baby online.

BabyStyle.com It's an online outlet for fancy baby stuff. Some deals are great, some are still pricey. Like an outlet store! Maternity clothes, baby clothes and more.

Baby Cheapskate blog According to the site: "Baby Cheapskate discusses baby bargains and free stuff in the Atlanta area and elsewhere. I make no guarantee of accuracy, but I do my best. Do your own research. Find what works best for you." Good stuff.

But my number one tip for baby shopping is consignment. At least for the first years. Baby specialty consignment stores usually take care to put items in very good to excellent condition on their racks. The less than stellar items go on the dollar rack. Of course you can find some really awesome and good quality items there, too! And keep an eye out for discount days. Vintage Baby's two stores in the Quad Cities have 50% days twice a year per store. My mom and I stood in line for an hour to check out at the Davenport one two weekends ago. It was wacky but a good time. We also got some good stuff that we needed, including a snugly and a netting cover for the playpack for my parents to keep at their house. Total cost? $7.

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow - Part Deux

2007-01-31T12:52:00.000-08:00

I got a hair cut. Two weekends ago. It's pretty much a page boy style, only auburn and not pink like this pic. Now that I think about it, it's a little along the lines of Anne Rice's hair. Before she decided her vampires were acky and started writing Christian books.

I have some pics of my new 'do, but they are on my other computer. I'll post as soon as I can. Of course my hair looks nothing like Bella's new 'do that I posted yesterday. I can only dream!

Bella: Bald is Beautiful

2007-01-30T09:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes bald is better.

My mother decided that we should see what Bella would look like with hair. Enter the bad toupee.

Bella at 18 weeks, looking like (as my friend Tracy says) the principal from the Motley Crue video, "Smokin' in the Boys Room."

Nestle Should Stick with Hot Cocoa

2007-01-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

I just had a Nestle Toll House Candy Bar. I thought it was a good idea. I'm all about cookies and cookie dough. And chocolate. I was in a chocolate mood and was originally heading for a Hershey bar. I should have stuck to the plan. The Toll House bar did not taste anything like cookie dough, which I thought it would. The chocolate coating was also too mild for my liking. So basically, I just downed 250 calories for no good reason. When I could have had a delicious Hershey bar. And you know what you're getting when you break off a piece of one of those. Great, now I'm getting heartburn. I want my money back! I want to go back in time and buy a different candy bar!

The funny thing is that I decided earlier this week that I was going to get back into the Flex Points deal I used to do more than a year ago. It's a Weight Watchers thing, but I got the books off of eBay (of course) and do not attend meetings. I think it's a pretty good plan because I can keep track of what I'm putting in my mouth a lot better than I normally do. I'm also excited because hot cocoa is only 2 points per packet. That rocks.

This has been an odd week. Bill's mom took a spill at the nursing home where she lives and ended up getting a partial hip replacement last night. She also impacted her shoulder. No surgery for that, but she will have it immobilized for a good number of weeks. It's really something when a woman who has only been in the hospital four times--one for each kid she gave birth to--suddenly needs surgery and rehab at the age of 81. Amazing.

So, now that I think about it, the candy bar really isn't that big of a deal. Not that I thought it was, but still.

What the Hell is Happening to My Hair?

2007-01-23T10:09:00.000-08:00

Postpartum hair loss. It sucks. I'd heard of it briefly but didn't give it much thought. Until I looked down at the drain in the tub.

I had heard that since pregnant women don't shed as much hair that it seems like you lose a lot after the baby arrives. I get that, but this is ridiculous. Horrible amounts of hair are fleeing from my head. While I'm brushing, while I'm shampooing, conditioning, drying .... It's terrible!

So I decided to look up some info on what's going on. Apparently it's a "medical condition known as telogen effluvium (telo what??). It is most often caused by a traumatic physical event such as childbirth. The event results in a disruption of the normal hair cycle and subsequent shedding of the hair." Scary. Read Pregnancy Today article here. To sum it up, there are three phases of hair growth. You can read the article to get all the info, but more hair grows during pregnancy. After pregnancy, your hair enters a phase of non-growth/hair giving up and becoming loose in the folicles. Thus more hair falls out. So since the average bear loses around 100 hairs a day, a postpartum woman loses a million. Okay, that's a great exaggeration, but it is definitely more hair.

The good news is that Dr. Randall (an OB) says that telephone effluvia is self-correcting (or "self-corrective," as he puts it in fancy words). After only 15 months, your hair will most likely return to normal! 15 months?! You mean to tell me I'm going to have teletubbie valium for over a year?! Holy follicles, Batman!

So hairloss and stress make sense. It's also very scary since I'm a stressball. This does not bode well for Mommy Minda. Especially since I do not own a tiger.

Super Daddy

2007-01-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

My husband is the man when it comes to being a daddy. Rather than hustling and arriving to work a few minutes late most days, I'd be hours late without his help in the mornings. While I use the breast pump, he feeds the baby. While I'm getting ready, he's getting Bella ready to go and putting her in her car seat.

He gets up earlier than me usually during the week. I stay up far too late trying to get things done. And then feel like I accomplish nothing. Great. I have to remind myself that it's all about baby steps. Literally. Kind of.

Last night on the way home from work I decided it was time to purge. I've been threatening to do this for months. I need to get rid of a bunch of my clothes that I don't wear anymore and haven't for a few years. "But I really like it!" is what's been making me hold on to most of them. But I was having no more of that. I'm sick of my house being filled to the brim with crap. Major purge in order.

When I arrived home, Bella was still asleep in her carrier. I took the blanket off of her and loosened the harness, since I didn't want her to overheat, and went on my way. I grabbed a large bin full of questionable clothing and another bunch from my hanging rack in the basement. I sorted like a mad hatter, tossing much more in the "to get rid of" bin than the "keep it" pile. I was so proud of myself! Now, rather than eBaying it, as I am prone to do, I'm going to check into the consignment shop at the mall. We'll see how that goes. I'd rather not have to worry about taking pics of everything, Photoshopping them down, posting them, writing up the descriptions, posting, shipping, figuring out the shipping costs (and usually judging it too low then eating the extra shipping costs), blah blah. Basically I don't want to post them to eBay because I just don't wanna. It took me time enough just to sort through stuff. Do you know how long it would take me to post all of it? I don't either, but I know it's too much.

But I do have a grand plan. It's a plan to get my stuff together and get my life in order. I call it my "Tackle One Thing at a Time" plan. It's not original, but it's my plan. Yesterday I tackled a portion of the clothes issue. My "to-do" list for the day was done! Anything else I did around the house or for my projects was icing on the cake. And I did wash the baby bottles. Granted, that is an everyday occurance. And I also breastfed my daughter for 1 1/2 hours. In one sitting. No kidding. You see, my baby is a lazy nurser. Now that she has the knack of latching on, she almost immediately falls asleep. So instead of drinking all that milk down, she suck-suck-sucks, pauses, suck-suck-sucks, pauses, and so forth. It is a lengthy process. And I love it. It doesn't allow for doing anything else, but I love it. Plus, Bella also gets "boob face," as we call it. Her nose and cheeks get all red from being pressed against me for so long. She looks so cute!

But I digress.

I receive e-mails from the many baby sites I signed up for during the course of my pregnancy. One is from BabyCenter.com, which is awesome. A fab resource. Today I clicked on a link to "40 Ways to Save Time and Make Life with Baby Easier." It has a list of ideas people posted, including the following ones I found most helpful:

"I bought Medela microwaveable bags to sterilize breast pump parts, bottles, and nipples. I rinse items as I use them, put them in the bag, and microwave the bag when it's full."
(I have these. They rock.)

"Pump milk from one side while nursing on the other."
(I've done this.)

"One of my best discoveries is a hands-free pumping bra. I can pump while reading the newspaper and eating breakfast."
(Ha! I want one! I bought one! From eBay, of course. Purchased it today. I will report on it later.)

"I keep multiple diaper bags packed and ready to go with the basics, and I refill each one after I use it."
(Good idea, as we have a few bags.)

"Keep a diaper bag in the car ready for a whole day of emergencies: six to eight diapers, a supply of rash creams and wipes, a changing pad, one or two outfits, bottled water, formula if you use it, baby food, juice boxes, snacks, antiseptic spray, bandages, eye drops, fever reducer/pain reliever, tweezers, a jacket or sweater for sudden weather changes, sunscreen, sun hats, and bug repellent. You'll be prepared for nearly everything, from getting stuck in traffic to an extra night of vacation."
(I plan to do this in kinder, gentler months. Living in the Midwest makes for frozen times and way-too-hot times. Not good on formula and such.)

"I write a 'to do' list for the week on a dry-erase board. Having everything written down, and crossing things out once they've been done, keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. It also gives my hubby an opportunity to help without having to ask me what to do."
(I just found a still-sealed dry-ease board! I'm on it!)

"I place socks in large mesh lingerie bags so I don't have to search for them in the dryer."
(I do this. Yay, me.)

"When my daughter wakes up in the morning or from a nap I do things around her room while she's still in her crib. We sing, talk, and play games while I put clothes away, sort laundry, restock diapers, pick up toys, and vacuum. She watches me all around her, and she's in a safe place and not underfoot."
(Yeah, I do this, too.)

"A bunch of my friends went in together and gave me ten housecleaner sessions as a baby shower gift. My son is now 7 weeks, and this was one of the best, most thoughtful presents I received. You can always buy things, but time is so precious."
(This is a dream that won't happen. My friends don't like me that much. Plus, a housecleaner would have a heart attack upon walking into our house.)

(You can read the full list here.)

So to make a long story short (too late), I'm all about getting stuff in order now. It will take time. It will take work. But I'm ready for it. And not just my stuff in my house. I want to get my SELF in order. Tuesdays after work, I go to salsa dance/exercise class. Thursdays I'm going to go to the fitness center after work and use the exercise bikes or precor machines. I'm ready to move forward and be healthy! Mind-wise and body-wise!

Bella the Brave

2007-01-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

Bill just called with the report on Bella's 4-month baby check-up. She now weighs 10 lbs 9 oz and is 22 inches long. What a big girl! Today she is 17 weeks old.

She had three shots today and, boy, was she a trooper. For the first two shots she did great. She was a real tough guy. By the third shot, though, she'd had it. As Bill said, "She was not happy, and she let everyone know it." I'm so proud of her. I've been so concerned about her all day and wishing I could take the shots for her. People keep telling me that she's so little she'll forget all about it. That's great, but she still had to have it done in the first place. Sheesh!

I can't wait to see her and hold her and just love her as she sleeps through the day, which I imagine she will do. I'm taking half a day off to be with her. Bill had morning duties of taking her to see Doc Neptune. Now it's my turn.

My brave little pumpkin pie.

Bella's First Brush with the Law

2007-01-16T14:30:00.001-08:00

I have waited to post this until the coast was clear. On Christmas Eve, Baby Bella had her first brush with the law. And it was all her grandfather's fault.

My father, who is almost wanted in at least a few states, purchased a quantity of fireworks in a state where they were actually legal. This was on our way back from the trip to New Orleans my parents and Bill and I took a couple years ago. He set off a portion of them on July 4th, but too many cops were out, so he decided that he'd set off the rest on Christmas Eve. "They won't be expecting that!" No, of course not. But then we were the only ones setting off fireworks on Christmas Eve. And there you go.

So it's around 10 p.m., and a bunch of extended family members are hanging around outside in the cold "oohing" and "ahhing" over Dad's noisy and very high shooting fireworks. Granted, they are pretty cool and I was all about shooting them off. But, sheesh, Dad! Can't you buy cool ones that don't fly so HIGH?

After about 15 minutes of exploding fun, a cop car comes racing down the hill toward my parents' house. My mom had said just moments before to my dad, "Bill, if the cops come, you're on your own. I'm outta here and hiding in the basement." Which is exactly what she did. When the first person shouted, "Cops!!! I'm totally not kidding!", everyone scattered. Every man woman and child for themselves! Fortunately my husband Bill (yes, my dad's name is Bill, too) was already inside the rec-room garage with Bella. I ran in the house with my cousin and her daughter. Mom bee-lined it for the basement, followed by my cousin's son and his girlfriend. The rest, well, I didn't turn to look. I just hoped Dad would high-tail it for cover.

Once we were inside the house, peeking through the blinds in my parents' bedroom, I realized how stupid it was. "Are we morons? If the cops come, they'll knock on the door to the house! Which we are hiding in!" We watched as my other cousin and his kid mosied on up by the cars as if nothing was wrong. I thought they were going to talk to the cops. But, as we soon found out, there were no cops to talk to. They had sped by.

During the next half hour, about five cop cars kept speeding by, looking for someone or something. We assumed that it was us and the illegal fireworks. Then we figured something else had to be going on and they just weren't finding it. Then we figured, again, that is was us they were looking for but weren't bright enough to realize that the fireworks came from the house with all the smoke billowing from its yard. No offense to the coppers, but come on, people. The cop cars were racing down one hill by the house, then up another. Then down the street one direction, then the other. It was pretty obvious that it was us. Plus, we had a parking pad full of cars. My aunt, uncle, two cousins, their spouses, their kids, my family and my parents. We were guilty as could be! But they never caught us, see. We was too sneaky for the fuzz.

So that was Bella's first run-in with the authorities. She could have spent Christmas Eve in the slammer with all of her relatives. It probably would have been a better fate than spending a good part of the evening listening to all of us (except my dad and husband) singing karaoke. Now that is something we should have been arrested for.

What's Up with Fluoride?

2007-01-12T09:45:00.001-08:00

My mom says to make sure the baby gets fluoride in her water. Babies need fluoride for proper good teeth development. And then now I read that it's bad. What gives?!

Read the fluoride section of Consumer Reports

Jan. 4, 2007 article on how it's bad

November 2006 "Mothering Magazine" - New Fluoride Warning for Infants

So much for Nursery Water. Time to get new water for the baby. She's breastmilk and formula fed.

Oy vey.

What's Up with Fluoride?

2007-01-12T09:45:00.000-08:00

Tips for Frugal Moms

2007-01-12T09:03:00.000-08:00

As a frugal mom, I'm going to share some tips with you.

1) Don't buy infant socks until you check with baby consignment stores first. Vintage Baby (located in Moline, IL, and Davenport, IA) has a "free socks" bin (with any purchase). Like infants are going to get smelly, cootiefied feet anyway. Go for the freebies rather than forking out $3 for a pair of cute Classic Pooh socks.

2) If your baby is formula fed, try the store brands. I've been researching this issue online, in books, magazines and at our doctor's office. Store brand formula is the same quality as the big name brands but MUCH cheaper. We've saved $10 a canister or more by switching. Our baby doesn't mind it at all. There might be a variation in taste, but all the good nutrients are there. Just don't change from milk-based formulas to soy-based until you talk to your pediatrician.

3) Sign up for as many coupon-sending websites as you can. You should never have to buy diapers, wipes, etc., without a coupon (unless they are store brand and are a better deal).

4) If you get coupons in the mail or online, etc., that you won't use, don't throw them away. Pass them on to friends or family or leave them in the store in the baby section. Share the savings! You can also bundle them and sell them on eBay to make a few extra bucks while helping others save.

5) Don't buy every product you hear about for your baby. As frugal as I am, I've fallen into the "she needs that!" trap myself.

6) Research items online. Find out what the best brands are through sites like Consumer Reports' Babies & Kids or BabyCenter.com. You can also visit Amazon.com or Target.com and read the customer reviews of items.

7) Good Will rules. Infant clothing is $1.38 per piece. That's better than consignment store prices. Dig through, and you can really find some great buys. Since babies grow so fast, usually most of the clothes in these stores are in fantastic shape. Plus you can get brand name items for hardly any cost at all. I've picked up brands for Bella such as Baby Gap, Old Navy, OshKosh, Disney Store, Sesame Street and more for $1.38 or less. They often have percentages off certain colored tags, which saves you even more. The day after Christmas I went to our awesome Good Will and picked up a number of things for 25 cents. That's yard sale prices!

8) Become friends with yard sale junkies. A lovely lady who lives at the elderly highrise where my mom works adores babies ... and yard sales. She hit one yard sale as it was wrapping up and was told that she could have as many baby clothes as she wanted for 10 cents a piece. She bought my daughter two bags full of adorable clothes in great condition. Some still had the tags on them. Hooray, Sherry!

9) Sell, sell, sell! Don't be shy about selling your baby's outgrown clothes and other items (unless, of course, they have major sentimental value or you plan on having more kids). Consignment shops and eBay are great for getting rid of stuff and putting some cash back into your pocket.

10) Go to the library. Rather than buying all those pregnancy, new mom, new baby, what to expect, etc., books, check them out at the library. I wish I had done more of this. I'm a book fiend. Now I'm selling the majority of the ones I bought.

Hair Today, Hair Tomorrow

2007-01-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I've decided not to cut my hair after all. Bill says he likes my hair the way it is. He's all about volume and wants me to focus more on layers rather than length. Okay, sure. I just don't want to look dumb. I may be a mom now, but I don't want soccer mom hair.

Bella is now officially 15 weeks old. In four more days, she'll be a whole, whopping 4-months-old. Holy cow. But she's not going in for her 4-month office visit until Jan. 19. I can't remember why. Maybe Dr. Neptune is out on vacation or something. Perhaps I should check on that ...

The main thing I've been doing lately is selling stuff. I may have talked about this in a previous post. I'm all about selling on Amazon.com and eBay. Lately, Amazon has been going gonzo. This weekend, I sold an out of print DVD of Mystery Science Theater for $45. Totally cool! And totally needed. Hospital bills are kicking in. Having a baby is expensive. Delivering one is, too. And while I am constantly perusing my shelves for more books, DVDs, CDs, maternity clothes, regular clothes and more to sell, I've also been on the hunt for foofy stuff. Specifically Pecan Passion 3-in-1 by Bath & Body Works.

During my maternity leave, Bella and I took a trip to the mall. My mission was to buy some anti-bacterial hand lotion, and I know B&B Works had it. When I was checking out, I was totally sucked in by a counter impulse buy: a 4-oz. bottle of Pecan Passion body wash/bubble bath/shampoo. I'm a big pecan fan. And I'm also a fan of pecan pie. So I picked up the sample and took a whiff while waiting in line to check out. Oh my gosh, that stuff is divine! So I decided I would splurge and get a small bottle. Now I wish I would have gotten a full 16 oz. bottle. I love it! So now I'm almost out (I've even added water to it to make it last a little longer) and am searching for it on eBay at a decent price. While body wash is something I need, I could also just go to the store and buy Olay or something for under $4. For a large bottle. This stuff, I have found, retailed for $12. Plus it was seasonal (before Thanksgiving), so it's not in stores anymore or available on the website. Believe me, I've checked. I was even willing to exchange the Spicy Gingerbread lotion my husband bought me for Christmas for the Pecan. But, alas. Good thing I did buy the Pecan lotion. And that is good stuff, too. I'm watching some auctions on eBay. We'll see where it gets me.

Haircuts and Buffy the Vampire Slayer

2007-01-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

Bella and I are now on disc three of season two of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While I was on maternity leave from my day job, we watched season seven. During the recent winter break from work, we watched the first and started the second season. While Bella may not understand what is going on at 14 weeks, here is what I hope osmosifies into her brain:

- learning to be tough and protect yourself is cool
- how to kick vampire and demon ass
- that just because you're a girl doesn't mean people can push you around
- that witty bantar rocks
- that being different is not just okay but awesome
- that life can be hard, but she can take what comes

There are many life lessons in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That's why it was on for seven years and became a cult classic. For example, in one episode, a girl who feels invisible to the high school world around her actually becomes invisible. Who hasn't felt that way in high school or any school for that matter? There are life and death issues, gay issues, relationship issues, everything issues. I would have been even more obsessed with the show had it been on when I was in school.

Lately I've been going through my stuff to see what I can sell online. With hospital bills, baby bills and even some normal bills, it's been hard to make ends meet. I sold my box set for "Lost" as well as a number of books (and I LOVE my books). But there is no way I'll part with my Buffy box sets. Seasons one through seven are my prized possession. I watch them more than any of my DVDs. I listen to the "Once More, With Feeling" episode soundtrack more than any other CD I have. Why? Because it feels like home.

Buffy Summers is the absolute underdog. On her gravestone (from the second time she died), her friends had the epitaph read: "She saved the world. A lot." For seven years (and some before), Buffy was constantly saving the world from evil. But, aside from her friends, she never gets any credit. Her identity is mostly secret. The President never gives her any citations; she's never even received the key to the city of Sunnydale, which she saved from destruction many a time. Buffy saves the world over and over again because it needs to be saved. The only thing she ever asks for is the occasional night off to have a real date--which usually gets interrupted by some demon or other. She is a true hero and someone to emulate.

So I watch the show because I really like it, and I hope my daughter will like it when she gets older and can understand it. It's important that she see a variety of strong women. Strength does not only come in the form of the Gloria Steinems, Helen Kellers and Oprah Winfreys of the world. The best strength comes in the most unlikely places.

***

Haircuts. I need one. What does this have to do with Buffy? Well, once upon a time I had my hair cut like one of Sarah Michelle Gellar's incarnations. It was the short hair pic shown above. Of course, I'm not 5'3" or blonde. Actually, she isn't blonde either. She's naturally a brunette and so am I. Though you'd never know since I've dyed my hair shades of red for more than 10 years. And now Bella has reddish hair; it must have soaked in.

What I'm thinking of for now, due to my current hair length, bangs and layers, is to go for this other short style as worn by Tea Leoni. This might work. Right now, just about anything would work better than the sad mop I've got going on. I just want something easy to deal with. When I had it very long and straight, I just let it do its thing or clipped it up and out of the way. When I had it super short, I just put sculpting foam in it and messed it up. I love that messy look. It's perfect for someone like me who is not so good with hairstyles.

It's also important to have an easy style because of being a mom. Who has the luxury of doing any hair stuff with a baby around?

We'll see how the hair holy grail goes. And if I can afford to get it cut in the first place.

Nola:The Christmas Terror

2006-12-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening Bill decorated the Christmas tree for us. It had been standing naked in our media room for two weeks. That's what happens when you have an infant in the house and both parents who work fulltime outside the home. You want to decorate the tree, but life gets in the way. We were weighing such decisions as doing the laundry and dishes or decorating the tree. Well, you know what won out. But while I was baking millions of cookies last night, doing dishes, etc., Bill finally was able to take the time to trim our artificial tree. And it's a good thing it's a fake tree. Otherwise it really would have been toast.

At 4 in the morning, I woke up to the baby's cries. Bill was awake, too.

"I've been up three times already," he said. "One of those times was because Nola knocked the tree down."

Lovely. She's been messing with it since Bill put it up. But she hadn't knocked it down. By the time I got up with the baby to get ready for work, she had done it again. Bill was ticked. And disheartened.

"I don't know why I even bother. I'm taking it down."

I wasn't going to argue with him on this. I'm sure he's upset because this is Bella's first Christmas and he wants it to be special. Stupid cat. She also jumped into the refrigerator this weekend. But I'm not going to throw it out! I know what he means, though. I am trying to figure out a way to stablize the tree so that we can keep it up. One sure way would be to kick the cat out on her butt. Too bad we like her so much. She sure can be a brat.

The thing is, she doesn't do anything maliciously. She's genuinely curious. There's not a mean bone in her body. She just wants to see how things work ... and then play with them. Thus, she is a pain in the ass.

We'll see how things go when I get home today. I do hope the tree is still standing.

My Addiction

2006-12-13T07:54:00.000-08:00

I have to admit it to myself. I am addicted to Nestle's Rich Cocoa. It's even worse than my bubble tea fixation (I had another one last night--coconut--it was delicious, and good conversation with the SouthPark Mall bubble tea man). With bubble tea, I have to go all the way to the mall (NorthPark or SouthPark). With cocoa, all I have to do is reach up to my shelf in my cubicle or walk into my kitchen and my fix is on.

I blame it on pregnancy. Sure, I'm not pregnant anymore, but it started back when I was. You see, I was drinking chocolate flavored nutrition drinks to give my diet added nutrients and make up the extra calories I needed. For some reason, my appetite went down during pregnancy. Go figure. Sometimes I would get the vanilla or strawberry ones, but the chocolate kept calling me back. Now that the pregnancy is over, I've weaned myself off the nutrition drinks. But I'm hitting the cocoa hard. I'll have a cup or two at work. Then at night I may have some more at home. Today while walking to the office from my car, I was thinking about drinking cocoa already. I'm thinking that's a little unhealthy. But then again, I also think about bubble tea when I don't have it.

The good thing about Nestle's is that it's caffeine free. Sugar free, no. I don't do sugar-free anything. I'd rather have sugar than fake stuff any day. Nasty artificial sweeteners. They go in your body but don't find their way out. Who wants that crap building up inside them? And pregnant women aren't supposed to eat it because it can have effects on a fetus. What type of effects does it have on the moms?

As a kid, I was a big fan of Carnation Instant Cocoa. I must say that it is still delicious. I switched to Nestle's because of my lame lactose intolerance. I don't want to have to take a lactase pill just for cocoa. Swiss Miss is okay, but is a little more harsh in flavor than I care for. I'm all about the creamy.

I wonder if my breast milk has a cocoa flavor to it. You know, like those cows on the Hershey's commercial who drink the chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk.

Preparing for Christmas

2006-12-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

What is it about Christmas? Yes, it's a holy day for a number of people. Yes, it's a time of giving. But what if you're not Christian? Can you still give? Of course. But are you participating in the Christian belief then?

Here's my take. I do not consider myself a Christian. I believe that Jesus existed and that he was a good man. An exceptionally good one. But the stories in the Bible, I don't see them as the end all be all. Adam and Eve? We all come from the same two people? And yet there are all different colors and races? How'd that happen? I also have major issues with the whole original sin concept. Eve was framed.

I also find it interesting that while many Christians (I won't speak for all, of course) enjoy Christmas traditions, they are not necessarily celebrating in Christian ways. Much of the traditional Christmas fare is Pagan. Santa is a Pagan figure. The yule log is named after the Pagan Sabbath Yule. According to Terri Paajanen on About.com ("Pagan Origins of Modern Christmas Traditions"), mistletoe, tree decorating and even gift giving are Pagan traditions. Of course there are fundamentalists who believe that the practice of Christmas is terrible and against God. I totally get that. Christmas has become a material extravaganza. I've fallen into it myself (more on that in a bit). I read a site today called Let God Be True, which states that Christmas is "spiritual adultery." Interesting. And then it says that if you "fear God and love the Lord Jesus Christ, then this site is for you." Now that I don't get. Fear God? Shouldn't people love God and respect God? Why does God have to be an angry, mean god? By the way, if you visit that site, scroll down on that page and look for the creepy, weepy robotic Jesus knocking on a door.)

My New Mantra

2006-12-11T12:30:00.000-08:00

As the queen of being hard on herself, I had a revelation when I read something a woman sent into a baby magazine. She said that she was always feeling like she wasn't doing enough or doing as well as she should (my life story!). Finally she realized that she was doing the best that she could, and it made her feel better. After all, she noted, who could argue with that? Even she couldn't argue with it.

This really hit home with me. I am so hard on myself all the time. It's as if I define myself by the things I *haven't* done as opposed to the things I have.

I haven't done the dishes.

I haven't breast pumped enough today.

I haven't held the baby enough today.

I haven't eaten enough vegetables.

I haven't got the magazine ready to mail out yet.

I haven't posted to my website lately.

I haven't mailed that package out yet.

I haven't paid this bill or that bill yet.

I haven't, I haven't, I haven't ...

There are so many haven'ts in my life. No. Not in my life. In my MIND. I'm doing the best I can. If I'm having difficulty focusing on things, well, I'm doing the best I can. I didn't get up at 5:30 this morning again like I had planned. But I'm doing the best I can. I stayed up late doing dishes, laundry, etc. (thus not getting to bed on time)--why? Because I'm doing the best I can.

My motto back in high school and college used to be: "Life is a series of things to get over." It went along with the "get over attitude" of the time. That's so negative, though. "I'm doing the best I can" is so much more optimistic. I'll stick with that.

Space, the Final Frontier

2006-12-08T14:16:00.000-08:00

I went to pick up the baby from my parents' house last night after work, and my parents were having the same discussion they have at least once or twice a year. Whether my dad will go to the moon or not.

We were watching live footage of the astronauts as they were preparing for the Discovery's night launch on Dec. 7 (it was later delayed due to weather), when Dad mentioned that scientists believe they have found water on Mars. Well, mud actually. It was underground and was wet. They're still experimenting. But Dad said that if they have discovered water there, there's more of a chance of people being able to go up there to live.

"You are not going to Mars," Mom told him.

"I'd go just to see what it's like," said Dad.

"You'd go right now, wouldn't you? Oh, no you're not," said Mom.

You see, this has been a topic of conversation in our house for years. Dad would like to go to the moon, and Mom will not let him. She also does not believe that the moon landing actually happened. That still does not deter her from detering Dad from space travel. She also does not want him, herself or anyone else to travel to different countries. "It's too dangerous. Anything can happen."

Dad, on the other hand, has no real desire to visit foreign lands except for the moon and maybe Mars. He's quite excited about the prospect of checking them out. Keep in mind that my dad recently retired from Oscar Mayer and is not an astronaut. Yet this does not deter either one of them from arguing about traveling into space.

This is just one of the many reasons why I love my parents so much

Pics of Bella!

2006-12-06T07:14:00.000-08:00

Finally! Recent pics of the baby!

Annual Lighting of the Tree

2006-12-06T06:15:00.000-08:00

Davenport, Iowa (Kim's Cubicle) --
The annual Lighting of Kim's Christmas Tree, in Kim's Cubicle Center, took place Tuesday, Dec. 5, to the delight of hundreds. The ceremony, which has become an esteemed tradition in the Marketing & Communications Department at Palmer College of Chiropractic, occured at 9 a.m.

Festivities included ice skaters (the pregnant Katie Hoyt, Keith Poehlman (skating like Ghostie the albino African clawed frog) and Minda Powers-Douglas), live music (by the Kim Kent Cubicle Messiah Choir) and refreshments (cookies, tree-shaped delights and champagne).

Said Kim, "The Lighting of the Tree has been a tradition in my cubicle for decades. My great-great-great grandfather began the tradition on this very spot. Before there was a building here. Before the College existed. And before rocks existed. And he walked through three feet of snow up Brady Street Hill both ways in order to light the tree. Which he had planted and nurtured himself. And it was before electricity, so he had to make his own candles and then rub two sticks together. Which he left at the bottom of the hill and had to climb back down to get. He was a diligent yet very stupid man, and I am honored to continue his legacy."

"I, for one, am so glad that Kim decided to light the tree again this year," said Lori Leipold. "What with the uproar over Christmas tree rights and how they've been demanding that they have a choice as to whether to be lit or not, or at the very least be able to light themselves. I'm all for Christmas tree rights, but, hello!, let's be festive!"

According to one onlooker, what the event lacked in Christmas tree rights, it more than made up for in tomfoolery. "I can't believe I took this job," said Amy Kaufmann. "What a bunch of freaks."

Please note that no pregnant skaters--or albino African clawed frogs--were hurt during this festive occasion. Also note that even Mike Rekemeyer showed up. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!

The Disappointment Factor

2006-12-04T12:35:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it's an only child thing or what, but I am awfully hard on myself. You know that saying "you're your own worst critic"? Yeah, I'm all about that. My husband, though (bless him), is the first one to correct me.

Me: "Oh my god! I haven't breastfed enough, I haven't washed the baby bottles, I didn't breastpump enough today, I haven't vacuumed in weeks (okay, months)!!!!!!!!!!"

Bill: "You are NOT a bad mom. Now stop it."

Me: "Yes, I am!"

Bill: "Do you smoke crack?"

Me: "No, but ..."

Bill: "Do you beat the baby?"

Me: "Of course not!"

Bill: "Do you pass out drunk and leave the baby to fend to herself?"

Me: "No."

Bill: "Then you are not a bad mother. You're a good mother, and the baby loves you. So stop it."

So the fact that I am not a crack whore makes me a good mom? I get what he means, though. I'm very hard on myself. In the big scheme of things, not getting the bottles washed is no big. Even the breastfeeding thing isn't. Bella is content with either breast milk or her formula. As long as she is getting the nutrition she needs, it's all good. Even if I was not able to breastfeed or pump tomorrow, I know I would still be taking very good care of my baby.

But try to tell me that when I get myself all riled up. It's crazy!

Back to the only child thing. If you are an only child, you will understand how we are. Generally we are comfortable around adults early on, we take good care of our toys (no siblings around to fight over them with or break them), we're independent, and we put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

According to CIGNA Behavioral Health and an article written by Nicole Teague titled "Unlocking Your Personality – What Birth Order Says About You":

"As a result of gaining undivided attention from parents, only children are often considered to be self-centered. Because they never had to learn to share or overcome conflicts with brothers or sisters, they are often described as selfish and not easily forgiving of themselves or others.

Only children tend to...
Be well-organized, or perfectionists
Be comfortable with responsibility
Not take criticism well
Be comfortable with being the center of attention
Be responsible"

I think she's pretty on-the-mark. The criticism thing, well, how many people do take criticism well? Actually, I think that is a learned trait. Once you are comfortable in who you are and what you do, constructive criticism can be welcome.

Regarding Teague, it's important to note what she says about only children being self-centered. This is a stereotype that has bothered me for as long as I can remember. I don't think it's any more true about "onlies" than it is about people in general. I've had people tell me for years (even back in school) that they had no idea I was an only. It always pleased me to hear that because it meant I wasn't all "me-me-me!," but it also bugged me a little to think that people really believed that nonsense about all onlies being spoiled brats. Yes, I had toys and a lot of them; that's because I was extremely careful with them so they never broke. I kept all of my toys forever! And they piled up. Just ask my parents. "You never got rid of anything," my mom has often said. They only way I was "spoiled" was because I had (and still have) a lot of love in my life. My parents, grandparents and othe extended family members have all been a close part of my life from day one. Does that make me self-centered? No. It makes me appreciate family even more.

But it's the oldest children who get all the props, though. They're the "responsible" ones. They're brighter and smarter and more good looking than the others. The others have issues--the youngest are spoiled for being the babies (or their neglected because their parents are "over it" by the time they come around), and the middles are wild, neglected or oddballs. Every level in the birth order has its issues. But we onlies are a breed of our own. People look at us as if we were the platypuses of the human condition. We're part oldest kid, part youngest kid ... and part duck. You know, we lay eggs, swim, and yet we are mammals.

Annabella may very well be an only child. I thiink she'd like it. Being on my own helped me develop a strong imagination. She also has the benefit of growing up with Dylan, the four-year-old son of Tracey, our friend who watches Bella three days a week. He's a part-time big brother. She has the best of both worlds.

My husband is the youngest of four boys in his family. Since there was a gap of seven years between him and his next oldest brother, he's lived a partially only child existence. Because of this, we understand each other very well. We both appreciate our alone time (well, now that the baby's here it doesn't exist ...), have very high expectations of ourselves and are very creative. He's also super tough on himself.

So where does that leave Bella?

(to be continued)

Am I Officially a Grown-up Now?

2006-11-23T20:38:00.000-08:00

I just spent half an hour assembling an expensive mobile for my daughter's crib. This is after more than a week of researching which one would be the right one for her. It's the Dreams-in-Sight Projection Mobile by First Years. And we found it on sale at K's Merchandise last night for 30% off. Of course, if it turned out to be a piece of crap, we'd be stuck with it. But it works and looks great. To me, anyway. My daughter is asleep on her father's lap--he is also asleep. They are on the couch, their usual evening rendevous.

So why does this make me a grown-up? Here's the thing: It is Thanksgiving evening--only mere hours before "Black Friday"--and all I've known I wanted for Christmas was to get Bella this mobile. Of course I wasn't going to wait until actual Christmas to give it to her. She's 9 weeks old and I want her to enjoy it and for it to get her acclimated to her crib.

I also can't wait for her to see it! When I walked out into the living room to tell Bill it was all set to go, I was totally disappointed that she was sound asleep. Not a fidget in sight. This is supposed to be the magic mobile. It plays three songs plus nature sounds, and it has projected stars and moons on its canopy. It's an absolute delight! She likes her Classic Pooh mobile just fine in the light. But you have to wind it up, and it doesn't last long. But this fancy dancy, well, it's battery-operated, lights up, plays music AND has a remote control. It is "the man" when it comes to mobiles. And Bella LOVES looking at lights. I'm thinking she will totally dig this thing. But I won't know until tomorrow. Or more precisely tomorrow night ... unless, that is, I can figure out a way to make a tent over the crib and block out the light. Yes, I am that impatient.

Let's see. Other reasons why I may officially be a grown-up now. My birthday/Christmas list consisted of a gift certificate for a massage and Stephen King's latest book ("Lisey's Story"). And the mobile for Bella. For my birthday last week, wonderful husband o' mine Bil got me the massage gc and the book. Then last night he bought the mobile. And a car seat (for when Bella is 20-100 pounds). Funny, that's the other item that I was thinking of getting the baby for Christmas. She'll be three months old; it's not like she's going to have any clue what's going on or complain that she didn't get a Nintendo Wii.

Oh, I have added another item to my list: a Pyrex baking dish. You know, the kind that has the fitted lid and has its own thermal carrying case. Rectangular. Not too big, not too expensive.

This could be a sign of the apocalypse. I've actually asked for cooking supplies for Christmas. What next? A fancy potholder? Well, those new fangled silicone ones are pretty cool ....

Another sign of being a grown-up is our plan to buy photo greeting cards to mail out this season. And our tendency to buy the baby holiday-themed clothes. We did resist the urge to buy Thanksgiving bibs, though. We're not THAT lame! But Bella does have quite the Halloween ensemble and is racking up some very adorable Christmas outfits. In our defense, they were very reasonably priced (that's how they get you), and we are going to be giving photos as gifts this year. So that gingerbread man sleeper and red snowflake hat was a wise purchase. We're bidding our time on the teeny Santa hat.

It's 10:53 p.m. as I sit here. I really need to hop on the old breast pump as the clock ticks down to the craziest shopping day of the year. While I don't really have a game plan for tomorrow (no 5 a.m. "door busters" for me), I'm sure something will come to me. On the day after Thanksgiving, things like Clappers and one-handed can-openers sound like really great ideas. My only desire at this moment for tomorrow is to maybe hit the mall to see what there is to see ... and get a chocolate bubble tea. I'm telling you, those bubble teas with their tea-infused tapioca "pearls" are like heroin. I could mainline those puppies. But since the mall doesn't open for another six hours, I'll just have to be satisfied with the memories of the one I had yesterday and go pump some breast milk for the baby.

I wonder if she dreams of breast milk like I dream of bubble tea ....

Breastfeeding is Not for Sissies (or "They Are For Recreational Purposes Only")

2006-11-21T10:59:00.000-08:00

Maybe you’ve heard the catch phrase “breast is best.” You may have also heard that it’s the most natural thing a woman can do. It isn’t. After over a month of struggling with breastfeeding, I’m starting to be convinced that my boobs are indeed meant for recreational purposes only. Do not use as a floatation device, etc.

For some fortunate women, breastfeeding may be easy as can be. The baby actually crawls out of the mom’s birth canal and over her stomach to latch on to her full and supple breast. I actually read that in one of the many pregnancy books I purchased. Well, maybe the baby didn’t “crawl” out of the birth canal, but he or she did work all the up to the mother’s breast to start feeding. Those were some major instincts going on.

My breastfeeding experience has been far from glorious or natural. Annabella arrived nearly three weeks early. My mother and I discussed this and believe that since she was so early, she wasn’t mature enough to know what to do. Add to that the fact that my milk really didn’t come in until nearly a month later, and you can understand our problem. The nurses at the hospital gave me a nipple shield to help her latch on, but with not much milk available and a baby who didn’t have a strong enough sucking ability, within a matter of days my baby had dropped from her birth weight of 5 pounds 8 ounces to 4 pounds 11 ounces. It was a new mom’s nightmare. My baby was only five days old, and I already couldn’t provide sustenance for her. So much for all my daydreams of my beautiful child suckling at my breast.

Breastfeeding had been one of the things I had been most looking forward to. I wanted that special bonding time with my girl, and I wanted to provide her with the healthiest milk she could have. I had even researched what super expensive breast pump to buy for when I would return to work. Well, we did buy a pump, but it wasn’t the one I had intended to buy and we bought it on that fifth day. We had seen the lactation consultant at the hospital, and she hooked me up to an electric pump.

“See, you have milk,” she told me as we watched tiny streams of thin liquid shooting from my nipple and into the pump cone. It was not gushing by any means, but I had no idea how much milk was supposed to come out. I felt like there was still hope.

After we left the hospital we went to Target (our home away from home) and bought the Medela Pump in Style. I don’t know how stylish it is, but it works.

The lactation nurse had told me to double pump. “Hold one pump in one hand and use that arm to hold the other in place. That way you have one hand free to start and stop the machine and change the settings,” she had said. My boobs must be pointing in completely different directions that hers, because I just about made a mess of myself trying to hold everything in place. Then I felt like I was trapped by suction cups and couldn’t move for fear of ruining the suction. I haven’t double pumped since. I just choose one then the other. It’s much easier than trying to grow a third arm or hire an octopus to help me out.

Tripping and Falling Face First into Motherhood

2006-11-21T10:51:00.000-08:00

10-04-06

It was no accident that I became a mom. But it sure felt like I tripped and fell into it. Face first. The funny thing is that I’m a researcher. I love reading and researching information. I read book after book, spending way too much time and money at Borders and cursing Barnes & Noble for not having a better selection (it wasn't until a good month after I delivered that I discovered that I'd been looking in the wrong section). But no matter how much I researched and read, my efforts could never fully prepare me for the journey ahead.

So in order to rehash what I experienced and never forget it, I decided to write it all down. And share it with whomever is interested. This first post was started in early October. Annabella was born Sept. 22, 2006, so I didn't get very far. But I did come up with some chapter titles and a little bit of writing for at least one chapter. As time and baby allow, I'll get the whole story down. And believe me, the story is continuing.

Just Breathe and It Will All Be Okay (or "Whatever!"

Everything People Tell You is a Crock … and the Truth

The Joy of Poo

Never Get Sick When You Are a Mom

They Had Me in Stitches

Falling in Love with a Pumpkin

Work Schmork

The Importance of Digital Cable (or Stupid Comedies are Much More Funny with a Newborn)

I Need 40 Alarm Clocks (How to keep track of feedings, breast pumpings, dirty and wet diapers, medications, sleep and so much more.)